For me, this adoption process began with an ambush. Let me back up and explain.
I never entertained the thought of adoption, nor the possibility. I thought adoption was for those who couldn’t have children. We had four girls; we had no problem having children of our own.
Admittedly, I was ignorant like I suppose so many are when it comes to adoption.
Weeks before the ambush Jen had hosted a Trades of Hope party by a new friend, Amy Moffit. Amy and her husband Chris had hosted two eastern European children through this organization called New Horizons for Children (NHFC) and was in the beginning stages of adopting them. She told Jen all about it. She was obviously excited. Jen got excited. That was the beginning.
Then, a few weeks later I saw Jen had posted something about her and the girls (our girls) looking at the NHFC website and getting excited about the possibility of hosting a child ourselves. The writing was there on the Facebook wall. I saw it coming.
Now, normally I don’t like change. I like routine, predictability (though sometimes change is routine and predictable, isn’t it?). Bringing a stranger into our home for five weeks is neither routine nor predictable.
My instinct was to balk but God had other plans for me.
Honestly, my first thought when I read Jen’s Facebook post was, Okay, why not? Let’s do it. It just kind of popped in there. I paused. Wait. What? Okay? Let’s do it? Did I just say that? I wasn’t sure I had but a feeling of real peace accompanied it. It just felt like the right thing to do on many levels.
When I got home I paused on the front porch. I knew it was coming, the ambush. I had prepared my heart. I entered our home, hugs all around, and sat with the family in the living room. They were serious but excited. Jen told me all about their idea and asked what I thought.
“Let’s do it.”
That was it. I think they were surprised at my lack of hesitation. What they didn’t know was that God had ambushed me before they did.
He’ll do that sometimes, you know. Sneak up on us. Drop thoughts in our head that we don’t remember originating. Put peace in our heart that we can’t explain. I think part of it is His way of directing us, nudging us in the direction He wants us to walk, and part of it is His gentle (or sometimes not-so-gentle) way of reminding us that He is in control. Like Proverbs 16:9 says:
The mind of man plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps. (NASB)
Throughout our hosting and into the adoption process I’ve been reminded of that truth many times. Seems we can be pretty stubborn about making our plans and asking God to get on board. After all, our plans sound pretty good. We’ve thought them through, weighed the pros and cons, calculated the return on investment, counted the risks and benefits.
But you know what? I think God sometimes laughs at our attempts to control. Or at the very least shakes his head. We’re like strong-willed children wanting to do our own thing regardless of what our Daddy wants.
I can be like that. Too often. But I’m learning to rely on God, to let Him lead and follow his cues. It’s not easy because in my stupidity I think I know best. Though He’s proven himself faithful and wise time and time again I’m still not sure He knows what He’s doing.
But I’m learning. I am. I’m getting it through my thick head. Trust. Rely. Wait. Humble. Submit. Wait.
He’s got it.
dellossoadoption 